But, Christians contend, there was never more than their one god. Then this god created the devil. Being all-knowing, this god knew how the devil would turn out even before the devil was created (even knew I would type this before I typed it). Therefore, because god had knowledge of all this before the fact, then the performers only believed they had a choice about the action each took – the devil to turn on its creator (and, somehow, be allowed to continue to not only exist, but THRIVE!), and me to write about it herein.

Even before I was conceived, your god knew that I was going to call the carefully paragraphs Thomas Horn wrote above silliness, good for but the weakest of tired giggles, the puff of an insignificant mind, the gas from a bowel after beans.

The Lord God works in mysterious ways and, since it was known before my conception that I would write these words, I have no choice – despite the illusion of my free will – but to write them. I am ow going to pour myself another beer – about which your good had apriori knowledge, as well, so, again, it is my destiny.

One last thing – when any of you has a child dragged along the pavement, wrapped around the axle of a garbage truck, grated like a soft carrot, I want you to drop to your knees and weep tears of joy for the way your god has decided to work his most wondrous deeds BECAUSE, you see, “HE” either A) knew it would happen and allowed it, because “HE” knew that her horrific death would yield more benefits than costs or B) caused it to happen – ditto for the reason. She was created to die screaming while being grated like a carrot under a truck.

The above is an imaginary scenario. There is so much blather about thanking God for “saving” a lost child, for example – apparently because the amount of fervent prayer reached some critical mass – but NOT thanking HIM when even MORE fervent and sincere prayer fails (and HE will never pay much attention to the solo prayer performer. Heh. Put Human Beings in clothes, let them produce a bit, and they actually think that they have escaped the trees…) OR when REALLY BAD SHIT HAPPENS (HITLER AND POL POT (most Anglos in the US don’t even know who he was – no matter the million or so HE killed – they were all asians, so who gives a shit, right?) could not have existed without the Christian god doing a cost-benefit analysis.

I second the Mercedes jab made above.